i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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