playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
