do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
