He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
