the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
