its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
