Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Farmville is her only friend.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
