Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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