So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
