im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
