Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
