Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
