why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
