Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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