I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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