Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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