Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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