My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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