I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
