somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
