you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
