I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
