I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
