when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
