Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
