how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
