glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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