I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
