she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have post one night stand depression
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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