Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
