Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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