sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
