Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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