Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
