He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
