You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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