I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
