p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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