How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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