Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
