no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
