Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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