I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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