Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
