i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
