threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
