she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
