Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
