who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
