its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
