I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
